Papaw's First Christmas

I’m a new Papaw. It’s been three months now and I’m still not over it! It’s taken me this long to corral all these new feelings enough to write them down. Audrey Faye is the newborn, but there is a newborn place in my heart that was awakened the moment I first saw and held her…sidebar note: she smelled like cookies! In the same way that Audrey is beautiful, warm, tender, vibrant, fresh, and utterly lovable, so is this feeling I have in this new part of my heart. It gets reborn every time I see her, or see the latest photo of her, or hear her coo on the phone. I’m not sure if it was even there before she arrived, or perhaps it was always there without my knowledge… until she touched it. I tell everybody that “she touched me in a place I didn’t know I had!”

She makes everything else in my life seem new and fresh and brighter and broader and more important and more profound and loved more intensely. It’s like the “Shift” key on the old typewriters…the whole mechanism of our lives moved up to a whole new level when Audrey arrived. I love Linda (Gran) in a whole new way as I watch her eyes dance and marvel at Audrey’s every movement and emotion. I love Stephanie not only as our beautiful daughter but also now with such pride in her as an incredibly strong, devoted, and focused mother…another whole new level. I see and hear the pure joy in Aunt Liza’s eyes, voice, and writings and I revel in the unbridled overflow. I love how Jason is hopelessly lost in complete fascination and delight, and I see the resolve in his eyes…locked onto the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood. I love Uncle Jonathan’s quiet and profound strength as he endures the pain of separation from all (but one, for now) of his loved ones.

But mostly I love you, Audrey! Did you know you made all these things happen? That’s a lot of heavy lifting little one! And you make it look so easy. Do you know how much you are loved? Your arrival truly changed our family’s world. I’ve often thought that our hearts, created by God, are somehow each unique but still hold the shape of His hand. He knows perfectly who we are, how we are made, and for what purpose. When He chooses to bless us, He knows exactly when and where to touch our hearts to bring about our joy in the good times, peace in the tough times, and the ability and desire to worship Him and breathe thanks to Him for so many things too wonderful for words. Audrey, I believe that you came straight from His hand to us thereby touching off this celebration of praise and avalanche of photographs! God loves you and He has such wonderful plans for you. Listen closely, little one, to whatever He says and follow Him all the days of your life.

Christ’s arrival on that first Christmas changed everything and our hearts will never be the same. Now, you have come to us and so, from now on, none of our Christmases will ever be the same. This will be my first Christmas as a Papaw. Therefore, I no longer have any fear of Santa’s naughty or nice list. It doesn’t matter to me any more if I only get a bag of switches because this Christmas I already have the best gift any Papaw could hope for…you, Audrey!