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Thursday, October 8, 2015

More Than Lawnmowers

Frank Burns was on to something.  In a moment of patriotism, the hapless, wound-to-tight, brunt of MASH camp pranks, announced that he had figured out the meaning of the whole war – lawnmowers.  He explained to his smirking buddies that he realized that they were fighting the Korean war for the “American Dream” – the God given right to pursue one’s own dreams.  In his sweet, albeit elitist, view, every American wanted and rightly should fight for the freedom to have his own home complete with a two car garage, two great kids, and his very own lawnmower.  The memory of the look and smell of freshly cut grass was his anchor for making sense of the war. 

I agree.  There is something wonderful and deeply satisfying about mowing your own lawn, but I think there’s more to it than simple pride in ownership or competition with the neighbors.  I believe the joy rises from a place that transcends routine maintenance.  It is not only the reason we take care of our lawns and homes, but it is also why we work hard at our jobs.  It is what drives us to put our own preferences or wishes aside in favor of this one thing.  We sacrifice for it.  We devote most of our time and energy for it.  It is the reason that the “special moments” are so special and a simple, everyday event can suddenly become unforgettable.   It’s why I get those - lump in my throat, chills down my spine – frissons, usually without warning.  Thunderstruck.   Over what, you ask?   Consider these examples in no particular order, chosen from oh, about a million or so:

     A single yellow rose extended with a smile, a tear, and “You’re going to be a Daddy!”
    
     A onesie pulled from a faux birthday bag with, “Mama and Daddy, we’re having a girl -      
      Audrey Faye!”

     “The LSU School of Dentistry is pleased to inform you of your acceptance into our …”

     “Yes, I’d love to go to a sweetheart banquet with you.”

     “Daddy’s taking us to Diiisney Wo-orld, Diiisney Wo-orld, Diiisney Wo-orld…” – once as little girls and then again at 20 something.

     Tiger Stadium – ‘nuff said.

     Tiger Band – ‘nuff said.

     Our first baby’s first breath.

     “Dr. Steve, can I talk to you about marrying…?” – twice!

     King cake baby on a cupcake? – “Because there’s a real baby coming!”

     “Thank you, Daddy.” –spoken with wedding-gown eyes – twice!
     
     My grandson’s new-born head smells like cookies too.
     
     “Daddy, I want Jesus in my heart.”  - twice!
     
     "Stephen, you may now kiss your bride." - once!

     Back seat duets 

     Son-in-law golf

     
I think you've got it - Love.  Family Love.  God’s Love.  Nothing else comes close.  All the trappings of this world are as tasteless and as much fun as chewing on cardboard without it.  But with the love of family, everything has meaning, everything matters.  Now that both our girls have a child, a whole new perspective on all this has opened up for us, and them.  So, thank you, Jack.  Thank you, Audrey.  Thank you, Lord.  I’m beginning to understand why the “old” folks put so much stock in getting the family together.  I find myself now thinking more and more of the next opportunity we'll have to all be together.  I can’t wait for the next time when I’ll be able to hold in my hands, and smell heads, and read to, and tickle, and feed, and whisper secrets to – all of our kids – grand, in-law, and actual.  Let’s do it soon, OK?  I’ll have the grass mowed when you get here.       

Friday, May 15, 2015

For Jimmy



Something’s missing.  Did I dream it all? 
Like the itch that disappears when you reach to scratch
Or, the fleeting thought, never to return.
           
He was my friend.  Still is, will always be.
He knew me like few ever have, and I him.

He was really here before, I know,
But now, there’s just the memory…
Of his broad grin and silent laugh through gritted teeth,
Squinted eyes that gleamed with innocent mischief.

The hot breeze off the blazing Cozumel beach
Carries that crystallized memory to me now -
An open air afternoon of cigars and drinks, 
Bar stools under a thatched roof.

There was talk of love for our wives, as men will do...
Only in the rarest moments of unfailing, unabashed friendship.
We marveled at how our children called the other “Uncle” -
A couple of regular guys blessed beyond belief.
Our families linked in a bond that goes beyond the slow grind, yet unfair fleeting, of time. 

He was my friend.  Still is, will always be.
He knew me like few ever have, and I him.

Whether –

The drummer in a smoky Ocean Springs dive,
The dashing tuxedo clad - bride on his arm -
 anniversary  cruise - date, 
The shirtless Dad in his recliner,
The “Blueberry Hill” crooner,
The Ole Miss diehard,
The New Orleans weekend beguiler,
The prayerful churchman…
         
Always the same.
           
He was my friend.  Still is, will always be.
He knew me like few ever have, and I him.

Those times really happened, right?
How can they be just as real as this grave marker at my feet?
Why can’t I remember carrying his casket that day?
How has fifteen years gone by since that day?
Twenty-four years’ bonding – ended, but not undone.

This memory umbrella protects my heart just now
As I brush the wet grass from his name.
Linda holds the LSU umbrella to protect us from the rain.

Which is the reality? 
The cold grey sky above and bronze lettering below?
Or these beautiful memories of my best friend?
The love in Linda’s misty eyes holds me steady
And tells me the truth – always has:
           
He was my friend.  Still is, will always be.
He knew me like few ever have, and I him.