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Saturday, August 2, 2014

In Defense of Pollyanna





“I’m such a Pollyanna,” she confesses aloud. 

“How so?” I ask. 

She explains, “I always thought (so-and-so) was a nice man but I guess I was wrong now that he’s …” or

“When I was a little girl, I thought everyone was nice.”

“She”, of course, is my Linda.  Of her many charms that sustain my crippling addiction for her, this is my favorite:  child-like innocence, steeped in grown-up-lady wisdom, nicked but undaunted.  She is truly surprised in her heart when someone disappoints her by “acting out” or misbehaving in some way.  She briefly mourns the loss of trust, but then forges ahead with fresh optimism.  Her confession is one of self-reproach, as if she should have known better.  “Maybe I’m too trusting.  Maybe the world really is no good and I’ve chosen not to see it.”      

I say, No!  She is right to expect the best of everyone.  I think that’s a much better outlook on life and society.  A constant expectation of failure or miss-step leads to a foul attitude all ‘round.  There is a standard of conduct, both socially and personally, that’s worth believing in and upholding.  We should behave ourselves!  She gets this from her mother, Joy Faye.  She was always quick to counter every “ugly” or negative situation with words of cheer and optimism.  I think that philosophy is contagious: expect the best from everyone around you and that’s usually what you’ll get.  I grew up working out in the yard and garden.  Those chores were simply a part of our everyday lives and we were expected to carry them out.  I did so partly out of obligation but also because there was this inner desire to please my Dad.  I could tell that he took real pride in looking back over his day’s work and seeing a job well done.  That made me want to do well also and when I did, I can still remember the thrill of his praise.  If the job was done poorly or not at all, I remember what hurt the most was the knowledge that I had disappointed him. 

Linda has always been able to instill that in her daughters, sons-in-law, and husband.  So, get ready Audrey Faye, you have such a treat in store getting to know your Gran! 

Wikipedia defines “Pollyanna” as someone who seems always to be able to find something to be "glad" about, no matter what circumstances arise.  Most of the influence for that comes from the eponymous Disney movie about the little girl who lived life that way, even during a temporarily disabling accident.   I think that’s accurate, but for Linda, they left out the part about her unwavering faith and eyes-wide-open confidence that comes from wanting and expecting the best for everyone she loves. 

So, if that’s being Pollyanna, please never change!          

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